Monday, 22 June 2009 00:00 | and posted in Prayer & Guidance
What if, when we are asking God what decision we should make he is responding with a question of his own: What would you like to do?
There's a danger when we talk about guidance that we treat God as something akin to satnav. A friend recently said to me in an email, "if God has a plan for me, it's up to him to point me to it." We want God to say next left, or second right!! However, God reveals himself to us as a father and this has huge implications for how we should view his guidance.
My daughter recently turned 3. For the past couple of months my wife and I have been struggling with how to deal with her tantrums and stubborn refusal to eat her dinner, go for a wee, wash her hands, clean her teeth, you get the picture! We were frustrated, angry and upset at our inability to control our daughter's behaviour.
The thing is I can't control anyone's behaviour except my own! As humans we react against this kind of control even if the motivation behind it is good - hence why God isn't into satnav style communication and kids aren't into controlling parents.
We therefore have stopped trying to control our daughter's behaviour and instead try to promote her freedom within her tantrums.
"Katie, it's time to get ready for bed."
"No, Daddy, not today." (Her rebellion can be really cute sometimes!)
"Do you want to walk upstairs or do you want me to carry you?"
"I'm not tired, Daddy."
"You chose or Daddy chooses."
And up she goes, having chosen to walk. Once upstairs she refuses to wash her hands after going for a wee so she throws herself on the floor and screams, "Waaaaaah!"
"Hot water or cold water?"
"Waaaaaah!"
"You chose or Daddy chooses."
"Cold water, Daddy, cold water." The wailing stops and she rushes up to supervise me running the tap water she wants.
‘Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom,' Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 3:17. God is into freedom in a big way as freedom promotes love and relationship. Like Katie does, we value and respond better to freedom than to control - but then that's where God is so we shouldn't be surprised!
I think one of our issues with how we seek guidance is that (like a tantrum) we demand or expect a certain satnav like response from God that gives us what we want but instead find a loving and relational father asking us, hot water or cold water?
This way or that way?
‘What would you like to do?' may not be the response you are looking for from God but it is the start of a great conversation as you explore with God which option you want to choose. And as it happens, we will often find God offers us more guidance as we treat decision-making this way, after all, God loves freedom.
PRACTICAL TIP #2
To help you work out what it is you want to do try asking yourselves some of these questions: If money was not an issue what would I do? What gets me out of bed in the morning? What things do I talk passionately about? What gifts has God given to me?